Guessing someone’s thoughts and desires through their external expression can be an extremely simple and rewarding way of getting spiritually closer to attractive strangers. Mirror their body perfectly at all times, don’t let them see you blink, and never let them finish a sentence, and you’ll find your target subconsciously trusts you with their life, in a matter of minutes.
Did you know that a person whose arms are folded wants you to carry on talking to them for as long as possible? The folded arms represent the Lemniscate – or infinity sign – where one arm is you and the other arm is them, and the two of you are entwined forever in an eternal conversation about you. You might feel self-conscious at first, but remember the signals are rarely wrong: with every childhood anecdote you can dredge up you will be delighting them more.
Mystics can easily deduce the need to go to the toilet in a stranger by the telepathic reading of minds, but sometimes it’s less trouble to observe body language instead. If you find yourself talking to someone in a nightclub who keeps taking small steps away from you, they almost certainly need to go. Helpfully take them by the arm and lead them into a toilet cubicle.
Pay attention to handshakes. A handshake tells you everything there is to know about someone to the extent that, after shaking hands with someone, there is no point in ever speaking to them again. You will know everything they will ever think, everything they have ever thought, and everything they will ever say. Obviously this can be overwhelming if you’re not used to it; for this reason try not to shake hands with anyone in important situations like business negotiations. Just clasp your hands tightly behind your back and look at their outstretched hand until it drops away.
It can be difficult to shake hands with people at times. Maybe the general wetness of your hands, your work as a farm vet or your concealed buzzer puts people off. What if they want to kiss you hello? Nothing can be learnt from a kiss, so it’s a good idea to carry a gherkin with you to plug their mouth if they try to come near you. It will take them a few moments to realise they’re kissing a gherkin rather than you, by which time you can safely be out the door with the key in the ignition.
If you see someone you want to know more about it’s essential to ensure you both shake hands as soon as possible. To create the most welcoming atmosphere, extend your hand as early as possible when you see your ‘target’. Keep an eye out for them as you approach their location. You may need to wind down a window to make room for your outstretched hand as you drive down the motorway behind them, en route to their office or partner’s home.
Here are the main types of handshake. They are mostly self-explanatory. Good luck!
· The Moist Cup
· The Hot Pepper Grinder
· The Slug and Lettuce
· The Over-Eager Teenage Boy
· The Finger Gripper
· The Flush and Go
· The Mason’s Arms
· The Uncomfortable Surprise
· The Air Kiss Handshake. In this handshake the participants don’t actually touch, but their hands move near to each other as if pretentiously miming a handshake. Each person quietly whispers the word ‘shake’ as they do this
· The Magician’s Handshake. After this handshake each person will find a possession of the other person in their ear.
· The Dribbling End
· The Furry Pump Handle
· The Triple Hander. This is extremely rare. Report a triple hander to the authorities immediately if you can still speak afterwards.
Your body language: communicating honesty
With mystics reading our thoughts at all times, it can be hard to maintain secrecy. Often you may wish to perform spells without the subject knowing, and some level of deception is required. This absolutely isn’t the same as lying, which we don’t condone. This is different. The following tips will reduce your self-consciousness and increase your chances of success.
· If you can, it always helps to be more persuasive if you can change the pitch of your voice while you deliver untruths. Making your voice several tones higher, for example, can dramatically increase your chances of being believed.
· Looking directly into the subject’s eyes can be unnerving and unconsciously you could give a lot away that you may not wish to. Try to remember to vary your gaze while you speak, looking from side to side or down, and avoiding their eye contact as much as possible.
· Cover your mouth or if possible your whole face. It may help to turn your back to them. The less they can see of you the less they’ll be able to tell that anything’s different.
· If you are asked the same question twice, give slightly different answers each time - the confusion will stop them suspecting anything.