All witches have brooms because we are an incredibly clean and tidy people, despite the number of animals we collect, our diets, faces, and dirt-covered floors. As alternatives to brooms these days, witches often use:
- Vileda supermops – can fly underwater
- Laminate floor dusting rod
- Feather duster for tickling magic
- Dustpan and brush, for short trips
Different brooms are obviously suitable for different kinds of situations. Flying through volcano ash, for example, the dust-collecting types such as ‘dustbusters’ will probably be most useful.
A word of warning about Dyson hand dryers. No one knows how these work but they are very successful because they can clean any flat narrow part of your body, your paninis or your beret, and remove fingerprints from stolen items in seconds. Be careful not to touch the sides, or you will die.
Window cleaners use magic water, and part of the game is that you must do everything you can to steal their bucket. They are of course playing along, so no matter how much they protest, it is imperitive you get the bucket.
Don’t let lack of a vehicle stop you from enjoying car wash magic. By dressing in all your clothing and sneaking through behind someone else’s vehicle, you can get your week’s washing done in seconds.
Fluid from car washes can be used for potent magic spells. Open the sunroof as you go through and hold a cup aloft. Ask the forecourt manager to bless the liquid, then any newborns can be christened with it. They will grow up to be extremely hygeinic adults and safe drivers.
A nice present for someone considering becoming a witch is a car wash voucher.