Teenage ghosts are renowned for using the internet on computers that have been left on. Don’t be surprised if you find all manner of unsavoury things downloaded on your husband’s computer – teenage ghosts will do that. Your husband is probably more surprised and shocked than you are.
Hacking into other people’s séances
Séances are susceptible to eavesdropping as most of them have no form of encryption. With a ghost friend on your side and a glass to your ear, you can easily listen at the wall to what is happening at next door’s séance. You can tell if your neighbour is having a séance by the rhythmic banging or knocking sound.
Cheap text messages
Instead of sending a text message on your mobile phone, you can use your ghost to dictate it over the ether to a spirit who lives nearer the text’s destination. That spirit can then write out the message on the intended recipient’s steamed up bathroom mirror. For messages you want people to remember, you can request for it to be written in blood. The ghost text message method can also be used to send basic pictures, and is a nice cheap way to send unexpected birthday greetings to people you don’t know very well.
Ghosts who dwell in the static hinterland are under threat from digital technology, but you can offer them a habitat by leaving an old, detuned analogue television switched on in the corner of the room. So many ghosts will want to talk through it that your living room will be permanently filled with the constant moaning of tortured souls. As a bonus, if you leave the television on when you are out of the house, the ghosts will be happy to babysit your young children.
The signal bars on your telephone have no relation to how strong the mobile phone signal is. They indicate how many ghosts are standing right behind you.
Numbers stations are the mysterious radio broadcasts that appear on Short Wave, which involve endless numbers being read aloud by unknown voices. For years people have wondered whether these broadcasts are messages sent to agents as part of the schemes of secret security services. The truth is that numbers stations are broadcasting the numbers for a ghost bingo game.
Mysterious smells are nearly always trapped spirits. You can free them by opening a window.
Psychic microphone readings
You can talk to spirits very effectively in public readings, through the use of a hidden microphone. The ghosts hide in a room at the back and relay information about audience members to you.